Thoughts Happen

Dear Facebook: It's Not Me, It's You

 Dear Facebook — You’ve changed. When we first met, I thought you were amazing. You opened doors for me, gave me every opportunity to express myself and helped me see my friends in a whole new light. You also showed me how to listen in on my favorite authors, musicians and athletes and share interests with my friends.

I spent hours with you, more than I should have, heady with the excitement of discovering new connections and renewing old ones — some going as far back as 30 years to my old Junior High before I moved across the country. Your encouragement helped me get to know them better, and I don’t think that would have happened any other way.

But then you started acting, well, erratic. I never knew what you were going to look like from one week to the next, and your behavior kept changing. I also started getting the feeling that you were snooping around my stuff when I wasn’t around. I could never be sure that you weren’t showing pictures of me to people I don’t know. You swore that you weren’t, but I got suspicious. I got used to the changes, but I had to wonder — are you on drugs?

Then things started to get really bizarre. About a month ago you used all the personal information I had told you about my hobbies, favorite music, movies and sports and tried to sign me up for a whole lot of stuff that I didn’t want. When I told you I didn’t want to sign up for it, the only option you gave was to take it all down so none of my friends could see it either. This really pissed me off — I am so not into the whole controlling thing.

Then you started searching all my updates and posting the results anytime someone searched on something I mentioned. This really freaked me out. Can you say, “stalker”?

At least I had taken precautions so that only my friends would see the results, but I noticed that you were searching everyone else’s updates too. I could see intimate details about perfect strangers, and I wondered if they knew? Twice in the last week I sent messages to people I didn’t know whose updates were completely showing to the world, sort of like telling someone they have spinach on their teeth. Both people said they thought they were only showing updates to their friends, but somehow you got ahold of it and laid it out for the whole world to see. So I see I’m not the only one you are treating this way.

Oh sure, yesterday you tried to make amends, saying you’ve changed and you won’t try to trick people into sharing more than they wanted, but I tell ya honey, it’s too little, too late. The magic is gone. I’ll still hang around, because the alternative — cutting myself off from everyone else just to get rid of you too — is like cutting off my nose to spite my face. But I’m sharing as little as possible with you from now on, and watching you like a mother of a high school senior only one "F" away from spending another year at home.

If Facebook has been weirding you out lately and you want to know where you stand privacy-wise, check out these posts (asterisk means also linked above):

• Do your homework on Facebook
• Six Things You Need to Know About Facebook Connections*
• Facebook’s “Posts By Everyone” Feature: Do People Realize They’re Sharing To The World?*
• 10 Things You Need To Know About Today’s Facebook Privacy Changes
• 10 New Privacy Settings Every Facebook User Should Know

Lots more good information about online privacy can be found at the Electronic Frontier Foundation, http://www.eff.org

 

Facebook Photo courtesy jakecaptive on Flickr via Creative Commons

The Intentional Morning: 3 Habits to Energize Your Day

My alarm clock is my iPhone. This means that as soon as I wake up I have in my hand a gadget I can use to check my email, my Twitter account, my facebook account, my LinkedIn account, my favorite blogs and my own blog stats, not to mention eBay, my NetFlix queue and the latest tennis scores. 

If I did all that, I'd never make it out of bed. While I do refrain from checking everything, I'll admit to reading email before breakfast pretty regularly and occasionally checking facebook and Twitter as well. 

That's why this article by my writer friend and fellow blogger Marla Beck struck me this morning (on one of the days I checked email after breakfast). The mornings that I have a clear intention for the day seem to go so much smoother, and I realize that getting sucked into the neverending electronic vortex right away is counterproductive. Her piece offers three simple ideas to help keep on track and I thought it was worth sharing as the first guest post on Thoughts Happen. Hope you enjoy it and thanks to Marla for allowing me to repost her work here.

"The Intentional Morning: 3 Simple Habits to Energize Your Day"

by Marla Beck, MFA, CTACC

 

Not long ago I realized just how off-track my mornings had become.

 

I was checking my email upon waking and sampling blog stats before breakfast.

 

Under the guise of "keeping up with business" I was cramming my mornings with "busyness." No surprise that my days lacked energy and inspiration!

 

Use these three simple suggestions to fine-tune your own morning routine.

 

#1. Get up a half-hour earlier, and use the time intentionally.

In many spiritual traditions, the early morning hours are revered as a time of spiritual insight and renewal. You don't have to become a monk to leverage this principle, though. You don't have to get up at 5am!

 

If you can manage to get to bed a few minutes earlier and start your day with an extra half-hour, I can almost guarantee that in three weeks' time you'll be feeling happier and more energized in your life.

 

The world offers us many opportunities to react in a day: news reports, phone calls, real-time internet apps. Without intentionality, we allow the subtle signal of our inner compasses to get diluted or drowned out by the input coming our way.

 

Try waking up by intentionally using a small portion of your morning time just for yourself. Doing so will revitalize your inner compass and boost your energy.

 

#2. Connect to Your Body (Not the Internet).

Practitioners of NIA (non-impact aerobics) make an interesting distinction between "mechanical" time and "natural" time.

 

In mechanical time, we react to external timetables (like clocks and calendars). We gain satisfaction through "matching" our environment. We show up on time. We meet our deadlines.

 

In contrast, in natural time we synchronize our efforts with an organic rhythm we perceive from within. If you've ever enjoyed a day listening to the waves at the beach, then you understand the meditative calm that arises from reconnecting to natural rhythms.

 

Here are two easy ways to connect to natural time.

 

Stay offline.
When you "log on and check in" online, you allow yourself to be nudged into reacting to the world's demands. For your morning routine, prioritize "natural time before mechanical time."

 

Try creating a boundary around your online work. "No internet until after breakfast." Clear boundaries help you focus...and relax.

 

Move your body.

A great way to get connected to natural time is through feeling the rhythm and sensation of our breath.

 

One of my favorite ways to access natural time is to do a simple 20-minute yoga routine when I wake up. Moving my body overcomes my writerly tendencies to "live in my head."

 

Try moving your body when you first wake up. Remember that your goal to wake yourself slowly. Mindfully. Abandon any ambitions or goals. Simply notice how your body responds to gentle movement. Notice your breath.

 

#3. Tune Up Your Attitude.

Athletes use pep rallies and huddles to motivate themselves before big games. You can energize yourself on your own by using 10 minutes of your morning time to build a foundation for an empowered, positive attitude.

 

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

1. Read inspirational literature
2. Add to your gratitude list
3. Write down three specific intentions for your day
4. Repeat affirmations
5. Watch your breath as you breathe in and breathe out
6. Set a timer and freewrite
7. "Pre-rehearse" the day by visualizing your meetings and other activities

 

It seems paradoxical, but to set yourself up for a productive, focused day, it's important to give yourself some time to do what Brenda Ueland calls "moodling." Let your body saunter. Let your focus meander.

 

Trust me: putting natural time before "getting busy" time will get easier with practice. Approach your mornings with intention and watch your energy level soar.

 

© 2009 CoachMarla.com | photo credit: HilaryQuinn (flickr)

Marla Beck publishes "The Relaxed Writer" ezine each month. Get free coaching and tips to help you work smarter, balance your life and achieve your writing goals. Subscribe at www.CoachMarla.com.

Barack Obama has a LinkedIn profile

LinkedIn is my new favorite thing, as those who know me will vouch, and I find it a fascinating tool for finding and making connections. But imagine my surprise when, out of the corner of my eye, Barack Obama's profile appeared in the "Viewers of this profile also viewed" window while I was checking out Peter Shankman, founder of Help a Reporter Out. 

So naturally I checked up on our new President, and it looks like his profile is pretty up to date, as the Current Position field says "President of the United States of America." (You think he ducked out of one of those fancy inauguration parties yesterday afternoon to log on to his account and do a little update?) And, he's a 3rd degree connection, which amused me no end. Unfortunately "Barack Obama is not currently open to receiving Introductions or InMail™," so I can't ask for an add. 

Then I saw all kinds of other big-name profiles in the "also viewed" window such as Sarah Palin, John McCain (both of which appear to be 2nd degree connections, so how about that?) and also, Kevin Bacon. I am apparently 3 degrees from Kevin Bacon, and if that's not a claim to fame I don't know what is. 

I don't really need to be connected to a big-name politician or movie star, though. I'm connecting with my own network in ways that are a little more subtle, but just as powerful. Just today I lunched with five other women I know from a professional society but hadn't seen in years. We caught up on each other's work lives, families and new ventures, and promised to do it again soon. It was all precipitated by doing a few searches and sending a few invites, reaching out one person at a time. If you want change, that's how it really happens—one person at a time.

I guess I can't really end this post without linking to my own profile. You can find it on my About the Author page, or at louisejulig.com. And if you are intrigued by this whole thing but have no idea what it's really about or how to get started, email me and I'll give you a hand.